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I ended up hanging up because of the things he says.

Part of me would like a relationship with my father (I dont really care if I have one with her as the price is too high) and yet I say to myself “Do you really want a relationship with someone, your father, who has been so mean and judgemental???

To be genuinely curious about someone else’s experience is a gift not commonly given.

You might send a letter or an email acknowledging their rejection of you, taking a guess as to the cause if appropriate, and asking for details of their experience. Make suggestions you know they will appreciate, if appropriate.

Or, the relationship was never as close as it could have been, and the gap just kept getting wider, until there was no relationship at all.

If you’re estranged from an adult child, a sibling or someone in your social circle, and the estrangement is their choice rather than yours, you’re probably feeling rejected.

readers, and Linux kernel developers, is so lopsided (male high, female low) that graphing it would produce a near-vertical line.

I was hoping the piece would invite a Linux hacker on the female side of that graph to step up and move the conversation forward.

Looking around at the hackers I know, the great ones started before puberty.

If it turns out that you both value the idea of having a relationship again (and that is definitely an if), you’ll avoid an unnecessary loss for both of you by doing what you can to make amends.

No matter what the history, cause or present state of your estrangement from the other person, one thing is certain: Trying to convince them verbally that they’re wrong to reject you is a losing strategy.

Sometimes there was a very close relationship in the past, and something happened that created distance.

This may have happened either slowly over time or rather suddenly, but once that distance was created, it solidified into estrangement.

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